|The Godly Home|

Deuteronomy 6:4 ¶ Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God is one LORD:

 5 And thou shalt love the LORD thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might.

 6 And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart:

 7 And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up.

 8 And thou shalt bind them for a sign upon thine hand, and they shall be as frontlets between thine eyes.

 9 And thou shalt write them upon the posts of thy house, and on thy gates.

 10 And it shall be, when the LORD thy God shall have brought thee into the land which he sware unto thy fathers, to Abraham, to Isaac, and to Jacob, to give thee great and goodly cities, which thou buildedst not,

 11 And houses full of all good things, which thou filledst not, and wells digged, which thou diggedst not, vineyards and olive trees, which thou plantedst not; when thou shalt have eaten and be full;

 12 Then beware lest thou forget the LORD, which brought thee forth out of the land of Egypt, from the house of bondage.

 

What does a Godly Home look like?

 

Are you, as a parent, providing for the spiritual needs of your family?

 

Is your home a place:

   -of rest

   -of safety

   -of peace

   -place that you will find love

   -where you meet God

 

In order to have a strong home, we need to take a look at the foundation and the God ordained functions.

We live in a time where our society is losing the sacredness of Marriage as God has ordained it.

Is God a God of order?

Is there a designed order for us to function in?

1Corinthians 11:1 ¶ Be ye followers of me, even as I also am of Christ.

 2 Now I praise you, brethren, that ye remember me in all things, and keep the ordinances, as I delivered them to you.

 3 But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.

God is the Head –He is supreme (there is no one above Him)

The Head of Christ is God.

The Head of the Man is Christ.

And the Head of the Woman is the Man.

We function best when we work in accordance to God’s order and according to His will.

What would have happened if Jesus, when He was tempted of the Devil, would have given in and stepped outside of God’s order?

                                        -there would have been complete chaos!

What happens when Man does not take his place under Christ as leader, provider, and protector for his wife and children?

                                                    -there is complete chaos!

What happens when the Woman does not find her place under the man as her God given leader and protector?

                                                            -there is chaos!

Are women of any less value than that of the man?

                                                                    -NO!

Genesis 2:18 ¶ And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.

God made the woman to compliment the man.

She is to be a soul mate.

She is also described as the other side or the missing part of the man.

God has created Man and Woman with equal value but we have also been created to function with order.

 

The Role of Husbands.

Ephesians 5:21 ¶ Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God.

22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.

23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.

24 Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.

25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;

26 That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,

27 That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.

28 So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.

29 For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:

30 For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones.

31 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.

32 This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church.

33 Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.

 

Husbands are called to be leaders under God’s order…….. not dictators.

 

23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.

 

How should a husband love his wife?

Ephesians 5:25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;

Ephesians 5:28 So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.

Ephesians 5:33 Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.

Colossians 3:19 Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them.

1Peter 3:7 Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.

As husbands, we are called to:

-love as Christ loves the church.

-give of ourselves as Christ gave His life for the church.

-love our wife, as our own body.

-love our wife, as ourself.

-love without bitterness.

-show honor.

-work together as a team.

-Christlike leadership.

-discover the heart of our wife.

As a husband, are you willing to allow Jesus to change your heart and life, so that you can lead as He leads?

As husbands, you hold the keys to a successful marriage.

As long as I stoop to casting blame on my wife, I will be defeated.

We should be asking these questions:

-How self-centered am I?

-Have I allowed God to teach me how to Love?

-Are my responses Christ like?

-Am I sensitive to my wife’s spirit?

-Do I understand her heart?

 

How can I be a Spiritual leader in the home:

  – if I am not sensitive to her spirit?

  -if I do not understand her heart?

  -if I do not respond in a Christ like manner?

  -if I do not know how to love?

  -and if I am full of self?

 

Am I willing to take a journey of discovery, which includes dying to self and learning to become a caring, sensitive, loving, and Christ like husband?

 

For most men, dying to self comes hard.

 

As we focus on dying to self, it is important that we focus primarily on the areas that we (husbands) need to change and not on areas that my wife needs to change.

 

2Corinthians 13:4 For though he was crucified through weakness, yet he liveth by the power of God. For we also are weak in him, but we shall live with him by the power of God toward you.

 5 Examine yourselves, whether ye be in the faith; prove your own selves. Know ye not your own selves, how that Jesus Christ is in you, except ye be reprobates?

 

Psalm 139:23 Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts:

 24 And see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.

 

Jesus Christ wants to purge us from our unChristlike ways.

 

There are four male prejudices that we as husbands need to die to:

 

  1. Woman are impossible to understand!

-One thing you can get most men to agree on is: the mysterious nature of women.

 

 1Peter 3:7 Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.

 

The Apostle Peter clearly did not consider living with our wives in an understanding way an impossible task. He considered it absolutely essential to a vital relationship with God.  

 

Our problem as men is that we are not always willing to put forth the effort to understand our wife, especially when we see it as being impossible.

 

At times we don’t understand our wives because the flesh is such a dominant influence.

 

We can learn to understand our wives and by doing so, it will drastically change our marriage for the better.

 

  1. Women are the real problem!

-The most significant problem is that we as husbands have failed to exhibit Christ like leadership in our homes.

-When we are unwilling to learn how to understand our wives, we limit ourselves in bringing lasting solutions to relationship problems.

-Most men do not believe that they are at the root of the problem.

 

  1. Women are inferior to men.                     

-This is often demonstrated by the demands that we place on our wives.

 

  1. Men are supposed to be “the Boss”.

– The roll of boss means that the husband can disregard his wife’s needs while taking care of his own.

-As husbands, we are called to genuine spiritual leadership.

 

We need to stop thinking of ourselves as:

-the boss

-the king

-the emperor

-or possibly even the dictator

 

We are called to leadership in the home by:

-dying to self

-putting self, last and others first

 

Philippians 2:3 Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves.

4 Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others.

5 Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus:

6 Who, being in the form of God, thought it not robbery to be equal with God:

7 But made himself of no reputation, and took upon him the form of a servant, and was made in the likeness of men:

8 And being found in fashion as a man, he humbled himself, and became obedient unto death, even the death of the cross.

9 Wherefore God also hath highly exalted him, and given him a name which is above every name:

10 That at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, of things in heaven, and things in earth, and things under the earth;

11 And that every tongue should confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.

 

When a man is willing to yield his “throne” to Christ, there will be a remarkable change in the dynamics of his home.

 

In order to be the spiritual leader in the home, we need to become Christ’s representative and be purged from unChristlike attitudes and behavior.

 

A wife wants her husband to be her spiritual leader but she is designed by God to feel secure only when she sees that her husband is not the final authority in their marriage, but that he is looking to God for direction and guidance.

 

The Roll of Wives

Ephesians 5:21-33

What instruction does this passage have for the wife?

22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.

   – submit: to subordinate; to obey:–to be under obedience.

24 Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.

   -subject: obedient.

33 Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.

 

What is this passage telling the husband to do that it is not telling the wife to do?

    -25 Husbands, love your wives,

   -28 So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.

   -33 Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself;

 

Why is it that in this passage the husbands are told to, love their wife multiple times and the wives are not told to love their husband?

 

Do husbands not need love?

I believe husbands need love but there is something that they need more than love.

   -What is it that they need more than love?

Look at the last part of verse 33….and the wife see that she reverence her husband.

What does this word reverence mean?

   -to be in awe of.

   -to respect.

 

God has placed within the nature of women to love.

A good willed woman has no problem loving but may have a struggle showing unconditional respect.

God has created women with particular needs and men with particular needs.

A woman needs unconditional love aside from her performance just as a man needs unconditional respect aside from his performance.

When a man does not receive unconditional respect, it will destroy him at his very core, because it is part of his very nature and the way that God has made him.

 

When a woman does not receive unconditional love, it will destroy her at her very core, because it is a part of her nature and the way that God has made her.

 

Performance based love and respect always destroys.

 

When we do not receive unconditional love or respect, there will be very little motivation to change for the better.

 

Other passages with instruction to wives.

Colosians3:18 ¶ Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord.

1Peter 3:1 ¶ Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives;

2 While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear.

3 Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel;

4 But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price.

5 For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands:

6 Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement.

1Corinthians 7:3 Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband.

   -benevolence: kindness, good will.

I believe that when the husband finds his place under God’s order and the wife finds her place under her husband, then is when the children find security and a safe place to grow and to learn to walk with God!

 

The relationship between a Godly husband and wife is a picture of the relationship of Christ and the Church.

 

The greatest gift that you can give your children is:

   -yourself

   -Unconditional love and quality time

   -a clear example of a life completely devoted to Jesus

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